Confessions of a Social Introvert

by | 14 Jun 2016 | Happiness

I’m not shy. I don’t lack confidence. I like people. I have great friends. I like to go out. I run workshops and feel comfortable speaking to big groups.

And I’m an introvert.

When life flows for me it’s more pull than push. My energy comes from my inner world and can be drained by too much of the outer world. I need space and time for myself. I seek deeper connections and endlessly see the links and shades of grey.

To stay at my best I need a safe private space that feels like home to retreat to when I choose. I hate answering the phone, or being put on the spot without time to consider, or think things through.

I’m fascinated by human beings and what makes them tick… and I love to escape them, to feel alone and connected to nature.

I’m growing my self-compassion and self-acceptance after years of beating myself up for not being super-decisive, action-orientated, go-getting, naturally at ease in any social situation or good at keeping in touch with people!

I’m coming to see I procrastinate for good reason, not because I’m just rubbish; once I see the patterns, implications, connection and congruence with my values clearly enough I can move to action powerfully, confidently, effectively – it takes me time, but that’s ok.

I bring thoughtfulness, consideration, quality, calm. I can reassure and soothe, listen deeply and with care. I have endless depths of empathy and hear all the nuances of silence.

I am an introvert in business, navigating my way through the noise and clamour of the extrovert ways I’m told I ‘should’ make money – noticing the anxiety and fear it stirs in me, feeding the “I’m not good enough” voice inside.

But today I’ve reached a decision – with quiet certainty inside I believe there’s another way – not better, not worse – just different.

I know I’m not alone – we introverts are 50% of the population – just less visible, quieter, not wishing to add to the noise. As my life and business evolves, from this day on, it will be in a way that, whilst respecting the extroverts around me (many of whom are very very dear to me and provide me with healthy balance and perspective), is aligned with my needs as an introvert and designed to serve the needs of my fellow quieter souls.

I want to create a business and community that feels private, beautiful, respectful, connected, real, personal, and quality. A sanctuary amidst the noise and clamour. A place that feels like home. A place to breathe and let go of pretence and striving; to be easeful and peaceful; to reassure and empower.

Like an open-grown oak – strong, deep-rooted, slow grown, resilient and inspiring.

It will take me time to get there, but if you too seek the quieter ways and have the patience, watch this space…


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