I’m done with worrying about whether I’m good enough.
I’m realising just how much energy I waste trying to be…well, I’m not even sure what it is I’ve spent years trying to be!
It’s in-built with so many of us from an early age that we seek approval, like to be liked, try to be good and worry what others may think of us.
We compare our insides with other people’s outsides and worry that we don’t measure up.
We’re ashamed that we’re not some perfect being, that we’re ‘failing’ all the fundamental human being tests:
- “I don’t earn enough money”,
- “I’m too fat/thin/tall/short/pale/dark”,
- “my nose/bum/ears/tummy/thighs/feet/mouth/teeth/arms are too [fill in the blank with self critical comment of your choice],
- “I’m 35 and [unmarried/unhappily married/ childless/ given up my life for the children/ unlovable/unsuccessful/ unhappy/lazy/undisciplined/irresponsible/boring].
We fill our lives with ‘should’s, ‘ought’s, ‘must’s and ‘can’t’s and suck the joy from our souls in the process.
We allow other people to judge us, and tell us how we ‘should’ be.
Well, it’s not going to be easy to break the habit, but I’m done with it!
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t care. I care passionately about people. I have no intention or desire to hurt anyone, quite the opposite. But I also want to stop hurting myself.
I want to look after myself, like I try to look after people that I love (or even like the people that I like!).
I’m on the brink of radical self-acceptance: in this moment I am who I am; the good the bad and the ugly.
Yes, I want to keep improving and be the best version of me that I can, but RIGHT NOW, this is the reality of who I am, and I don’t need to apologise.
And hand in hand with my self-acceptance is the compassion and understanding that RIGHT NOW, you are who you are too. You are not broken, not needing fixed. Just a fellow human being trying to do the best you can.
Let’s melt our destructive sense of shame in a warm bath of empathy and compassion for our human nature, warts and all.